Khoob Moja
Choty Jokes
1.man:kiss kori
girl:lipstic nosto hoye jaabe
man:boob tipi
girl:Tshirt nosto hoye jaabe
man:sex kori
girl period-e achi
man:ebar bolbe na loose motion aase
2.to avoid condom related accident
use two condom with chilly powder
in between them, if outer breaks
she will know & if inner one
breaks he will know!!
3.doctor:ur knees all blistered?
lady:coz of doggy style
doctor:can't u do it any other style?
lady ;h, i can, but the dog can't!!!
4.A newly wed told her mom her
husband was a virgin.
mom asked how she knew
last nite when we made love, his
cock was still in plastic cover.
5.3 facts of life
1.gorib aar boobs shob shomoy debe jai
2.problem aar d**k jekono shomoy dariye taake
3.kismot aar BRA jekono shomoy kulte pare
6.girl friend er shate roomer bitor,
table er upor,battir niche,
de tacatac....le tacatac
de tacatac....le tacatac
stupid ami table tennis khelchi
girl:lipstic nosto hoye jaabe
man:boob tipi
girl:Tshirt nosto hoye jaabe
man:sex kori
girl period-e achi
man:ebar bolbe na loose motion aase
2.to avoid condom related accident
use two condom with chilly powder
in between them, if outer breaks
she will know & if inner one
breaks he will know!!
3.doctor:ur knees all blistered?
lady:coz of doggy style
doctor:can't u do it any other style?
lady ;h, i can, but the dog can't!!!
4.A newly wed told her mom her
husband was a virgin.
mom asked how she knew
last nite when we made love, his
cock was still in plastic cover.
5.3 facts of life
1.gorib aar boobs shob shomoy debe jai
2.problem aar d**k jekono shomoy dariye taake
3.kismot aar BRA jekono shomoy kulte pare
6.girl friend er shate roomer bitor,
table er upor,battir niche,
de tacatac....le tacatac
de tacatac....le tacatac
stupid ami table tennis khelchi
Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from a shower, a woman standing in front of the mirror complains to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion...
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the woman fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?" She asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," The husband replies.
She stopped...
" Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says... "Worked for your ass, didn't it?"
ermmm miracle of toilet paper you wonder...well
He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man
Fresh from a shower, a woman standing in front of the mirror complains to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion...
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the woman fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?" She asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," The husband replies.
She stopped...
" Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says... "Worked for your ass, didn't it?"
ermmm miracle of toilet paper you wonder...well
He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man
World No1 adult jokes
Psychological Approach
An optician was teching his son how to improve business through the use of the psychological approach.
Son, after you fit the glasses, the customer asks, 'What's the charge'?
You say, "The charge is $10" then pause and watch for the flinch. If the customer does not flinch, you add, "That's for the frames. The lenses will be another ten bucks."
Then you pause again but this time just slightly and again study the reaction. If the customer still does not flinch, you say "Each!"
An optician was teching his son how to improve business through the use of the psychological approach.
Son, after you fit the glasses, the customer asks, 'What's the charge'?
You say, "The charge is $10" then pause and watch for the flinch. If the customer does not flinch, you add, "That's for the frames. The lenses will be another ten bucks."
Then you pause again but this time just slightly and again study the reaction. If the customer still does not flinch, you say "Each!"
Bill Clinton Driving
One day Bill Clinton is riding in his Limousine and he said to the driver, "You know, I used to love driving very much when I was young, and I haven't done it for a long time.
Why don't you let me drive for once." The driver thinks to him self, "Well I can't say no to this guy, he's the president." So the driver pulls over and they change places. Bill was having fun, zooming down the freeway, dodging and overtaking cars. After a while the driver taps on the window and tells Bill, "Mr President, slow down a bit. You're doing over a hundred and fifty miles an hour."
Bill says, "ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the President." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and Bill rolls down the tinted window and says: "Do you know who I am?"
The cop sees the President and says, "oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?" Bill says, "sure" The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "guys I just pulled over some one very important, and I need advice on how to handle this."
They ask who, "The mayor?"
"No, much more important."
"The governor?" "more important."
"The President?" "No, even more important."
"Well, who can be more important than the President?"
"I don't know, but Bill Clinton is his chauffeur."
One day Bill Clinton is riding in his Limousine and he said to the driver, "You know, I used to love driving very much when I was young, and I haven't done it for a long time.
Why don't you let me drive for once." The driver thinks to him self, "Well I can't say no to this guy, he's the president." So the driver pulls over and they change places. Bill was having fun, zooming down the freeway, dodging and overtaking cars. After a while the driver taps on the window and tells Bill, "Mr President, slow down a bit. You're doing over a hundred and fifty miles an hour."
Bill says, "ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the President." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and Bill rolls down the tinted window and says: "Do you know who I am?"
The cop sees the President and says, "oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?" Bill says, "sure" The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "guys I just pulled over some one very important, and I need advice on how to handle this."
They ask who, "The mayor?"
"No, much more important."
"The governor?" "more important."
"The President?" "No, even more important."
"Well, who can be more important than the President?"
"I don't know, but Bill Clinton is his chauffeur."
Download Adult jokes
Download adult jokes in Microsoft Word format.
| adult_jokes.doc |
| adult_jokes_2.doc |
>>Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything
>> Best Breakup Letter EVER!!
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky..............
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There
were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
>>An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood on standby. As the Arab had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally.
So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sindhi was located who had a similar type of blood.
The Sindhi willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Sindhi as a token of his appreciation a new Rolls, diamonds, Bulgari jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sindhi who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi a thank you card and a jar of almond halwa.
The Sindhi was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sindhi's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.
The Arab replied "Chariya...now I have Sindhi blood in my veins !"
>>Shortest Story
Jack participated in a competition for writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that the story must have four ingredients i.e.religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
Jack's turn came after many attempts by others. Jack read out his story, which comprised just one sentence:
"Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked Jack to explain how it contained all the four ingredients.
Jack gave his explanation; " Religion is denoted by the words Oh God. "My wife" refers to sex. And "going to deliver a child" indicates suspense - whether a girl or a boy."
Amused one of the organizers asked; "Okay.... but where is the
mystery?"
Jack replied. " Don't you see. There is no mention who is the father?"
>>An Honest Parrot
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said £50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband Alex, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Alex".
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything
>> Best Breakup Letter EVER!!
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky..............
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There
were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
>>An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood on standby. As the Arab had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally.
So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sindhi was located who had a similar type of blood.
The Sindhi willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Sindhi as a token of his appreciation a new Rolls, diamonds, Bulgari jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sindhi who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi a thank you card and a jar of almond halwa.
The Sindhi was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sindhi's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.
The Arab replied "Chariya...now I have Sindhi blood in my veins !"
>>Shortest Story
Jack participated in a competition for writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that the story must have four ingredients i.e.religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
Jack's turn came after many attempts by others. Jack read out his story, which comprised just one sentence:
"Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked Jack to explain how it contained all the four ingredients.
Jack gave his explanation; " Religion is denoted by the words Oh God. "My wife" refers to sex. And "going to deliver a child" indicates suspense - whether a girl or a boy."
Amused one of the organizers asked; "Okay.... but where is the
mystery?"
Jack replied. " Don't you see. There is no mention who is the father?"
>>An Honest Parrot
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said £50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband Alex, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Alex".
Eng adult jokes
Same Lunch
Once a bengali -Mr Sorabjit Chakroborty, a madrasi- Mr Vengaswami Iyer and a sardar- Santa Singh used to work in an office which was on the 20th floor of a building...so everyday they used to bring their lunch.
Mr Chakroborty used to bring fish and rice, Mr Iyer brought vada samber and Santa Singh used to bring paranthas in their lunch.. everyday they used to bring the same food in the office... all three were very sad coz their wives used to give them the same food everyday.. one day all the three decided that if they get the same food the next day also they will jump out of the window of their office which was at the 20th floor and commit suicide and also left a suicide note.
On the next day with same lunch (as was expected) all three jumped out of the window and died.. on the day of the funeral of the trio, Mrs Chakroborty and Mrs Iyer were crying and said "why didn't they tell us we could have had made them something different. Why did he leave me?"
At this Mrs Santa Singh also crying said "I don't know why he jumped as he himself used to cook the food."
Once a bengali -Mr Sorabjit Chakroborty, a madrasi- Mr Vengaswami Iyer and a sardar- Santa Singh used to work in an office which was on the 20th floor of a building...so everyday they used to bring their lunch.
Mr Chakroborty used to bring fish and rice, Mr Iyer brought vada samber and Santa Singh used to bring paranthas in their lunch.. everyday they used to bring the same food in the office... all three were very sad coz their wives used to give them the same food everyday.. one day all the three decided that if they get the same food the next day also they will jump out of the window of their office which was at the 20th floor and commit suicide and also left a suicide note.
On the next day with same lunch (as was expected) all three jumped out of the window and died.. on the day of the funeral of the trio, Mrs Chakroborty and Mrs Iyer were crying and said "why didn't they tell us we could have had made them something different. Why did he leave me?"
At this Mrs Santa Singh also crying said "I don't know why he jumped as he himself used to cook the food."
